Ok, What the Hell.

November 4th, 2008 12:26 pm

So I’ve been sitting in front of the computer, talking to a bunch of people on MSN, and for 20 minutes, my mind incessantly deviates from my conversations to ponder about the possibility of posting on this blog. And then I think to myself, ” Okay, what the hell. I’ve already studied some bio and math for 4 hours tonight, and yeah it’s already 12:26 am but I don’t think I’m going to sleep until 1:00 am anyway…so why not blog?!?” So here I am, at 12:29 am, sitting pretty relaxed in my squishy chair and good-naturedly typing away at my keyboard. But what to talk about? What to talk about. I know!! I will discuss the rudeness and inappropriateness of a certain red fuzzy creature – Elmo.

You should be quite familiar with the wonderful characters of “Sesame Street,” a TV show that has marked a great part of our Canadian childhood. So, you should be quite familiar with the character Elmo, who once even had its own world, not surprisingly called “Elmo’s World.” The cute Elmo! The cute, lovable Elmo who surprises us each time with his magical crayons (if I am remembering correctly). But only recently, I have been exposed to profanity that came straight from this fuzzy red creature’s fabric mouth. I was scarred. For life.

A certain “Shout Elmo,” fabricated by Fisher-price, is supposed to be an entertaining little toy for young children to occupy themselves with. But obviously, the sound programmers had some fun when creating the

November 8th, 2008 11:59 pm.

ok so I never finished the above part of this post that night/morning, because I got too tired and decided that Elmo’s rudeness was not worth my beauty sleep. And now I am here. So let me just briefly finish my rant on the fuzzy red thing’s profane language that should render it an unsuitable companion for young children like you and me.

Once you press one of it’s feet, this certain “Shout Elmo” greets the whole world with a loud “It’s time to shiat with Elmo!” It then proceeds to do a very inappropriate dance, consisting of twirling and waving its single-jointed arms and gradually bending down, resembling an excited individual getting prepared to sit down on a toilet seat. All the while, it “sings” one of a few variations of the following: ” la la la la , everyone ready? Here we go! A little bit softer now, a little bit softer now, a little bit softer now, a little bit softer now…Mmmm, Elmo’s veeerrry quiet. Get ready? here we go! A little bit louder now, A little bit louder now, A little bit louder now, A LITTLE BIT LOUDER NOW! LA LA LA LA LAAAAA (some instrumental passage). YOU MAKE ELMO WANNA SHIAT!”

So maybe you didn’t understand why I find this so interesting…maybe it is because I never said that previously, but I do. I find it humourous, actually. The first time I heard it, I was so entertained that I recorded it on my phone.

Yea, I am lame.

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