What to do when you are screwed?

So…in the midst of my studying, I have realized how unbelievably screwed I am this time around…and I couldn’t help but think of alternatives to writing the exams and inevitably failing them.

1) Throw myself out the window. This would put an end to everything, if only my house was high enough.

2) Declare H1N1. This would allow me passage through to Christmas without exams…but then the problem is – when would I retake them? NEVER. I will be forever plagued by H1N1.

3) Go eat some amanita muscaria shrooms and get my muscarinic receptors plugged up = hallucinations? minus the toxic side effects, please.

4) Go dig myself a hole until I reach China. People won’t know I need to write exams there…

5) Fall asleep tonight and refuse to wake up.

6) Forget everything, pretend I have gone mental, and get shut up in an asylum. Hmm…

7) Crawl under Lucia’s desk. It’s so dark in there all the time…SHE won’t even know I’m there.

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