My Dilemma…

I pride myself in being someone who volunteers my time to help others, especially those in need. Over this past summer, I have spent many hours preparing and working on resources that I have hoped would be helpful to the intended audience. When I presented my work to my colleagues, I guess I was expecting them to see all the effort and time I put into it, but that wasn’t what I got. Sure I got a few voices of appreciation and suggestions, but I doubt that everyone actually paid attention to my request for them to look at it, which really shouldn’t take much effort. I apologize if I sound selfish, but after all the work I put into those projects, I would’ve liked a bigger response.
This one example, of many, leads me to a question that I have finally made logical in my mind : do I really need to spend so much of my time and effort in helping others, when not a deserving amount of people actually appreciate what I do?
It was really today that the question occurred to me. Why do I care so much, when others don’t care at all? Is everything I do really worth it?
As you read this, you probably are wanting to remind me that when you give, you get back so much more in satisfaction. But why am I not getting much satisfaction?
I think it is because not many people have given me direct response, and so I have no idea if what I have done is helpful, or what I can do to make it better.
There is so much more that I want to say, but I feel it shouldn’t be put on this blog. I am just really disappointed that I am ignored by many, despite my efforts, when other less dedicated individuals are more acknowledged. But come to think of it…who would ever know how much I put into stuff? Only I would know. It’s like working as a back-stage assistant. Except I don’t even get the acknowledgment at the end of the performance.
I guess I’ll just have to be satisfied that I appreciate myself for all my hard work.


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